Fewer but Deeper

“I heard the quote recently from Aaron & Shauna Neiquist that said, ‘I AM FEWER BUT DEEPER.’ It deeply resonated with me. Saying “No” will lead me with fewer invites, fewer friends, fewer opportunities. However, my “No” will also open up the right things and the right relationships. It will leave me with fewer but the items that are left will be deep and rich.”

- Jenni Starling

As a mom, I say no about 1,000 times a day. No to more YouTube, No to sleepovers on school nights, no to ice cream for dinner (although secretly I want to say yes to that), and no to bringing all the critters inside as pets. For some reason though, in my own life, saying No, is difficult. The servant's heart that God gave me, serves me well. It gives me a tender place for humanity, for justice, for grace; however, there are times where I feel I serve it up to everyone but myself. 

I have struggled with burnout my whole life. It is a resounding theme. I serve my heart out until there is nothing else to give. I crave balance. However, how do you find balance in a world that only values the lies of productively, hustle, and noise? How do you find balance when rest and peace are seen as weak bystanders of not having enough to do.   How do you say “No” and not feel the guilt associated with the “No?” How do you quiet that internal voice that whispers lies of “well if only you were more organized you could get more work done”. 

After a two hour conversation with one of my “Wise Council Members” yesterday, I realized that saying no is a practice in and of itself. In order to get better at saying no, I, in fact, had to start saying “No.” This would make me feel uncomfortable and guilty but I also knew it is essential. 

If I have learned anything in my 42 years, it is that more achieving and more of anything often gets me nowhere. The hustle only leads to burn out. That these yeses only fill my plate so full that I don’t have time to breathe and enjoy this life God has laid before me. 

I heard the quote recently from Aaron & Shauna Neiquist that said, “I AM FEWER BUT DEEPER.” It deeply resonated with me. Saying “No” will lead me with fewer invites, fewer friends, fewer opportunities. However, my “No” will also open up the right things and the right relationships. It will leave me with fewer but the items that are left will be deep and rich. They will be filled with meaning and purpose. After all, isn’t that why we are here? 

Our “Yeses” to every task that spreads ourselves too thin is ultimately a “No” to God. He desires our first fruits. He desires depth and intimacy in relationship with him. The richness of life is not found in soul sucking activity, but rather soul surrendering relationship with the one who brings joy and meaning to life. I cannot go deeper with God, until I become holy dissatisfied where I am. 

So join me in a revolution of saying “No”. Saying no to the things that may pull us away from the right things. To begin a life that is anti-hustle and anti-noise. Join me in being brave enough to live FEWER BUT DEEPER so we can have a life filled with balance, joy, harmony, and peace. 

Xoxo

Jenni